Monday, January 22, 2007

"W" = [W + (D-d)] x TQM x NA

The secret is out! "Watch 9" (W9) has the exclusive on how George ("W") Bush came up with "The Surge."

Forget military Generals and Study Groups and the new Democratic Congress. "W" came across an obscure formula while reading his morning Intelligence Briefing - which, as we all know, is culled from a selection of English-language children's comics.

Apparently, on the back of this one Welsh comic was a story about a University of Cardiff lecturer, one Cliff Arnall, who had invented a formula which predicted that Monday, January 22 would be the most depressing day of 2007.

Well, of course, "W" instantly saw the connection. He knew that on January 23, in his State of the Union Address, he would be formally announcing the most depressing news of 2007 - his "New Direction" in Iraq.

So, "W" thought to himself, maybe the formula could both predict the most depressing day of the year, and help him to formulate the most depressing news?

Check out Arnall's formula for yourself, and see if "W" was right. The so-called formula itself looks like this - [W + (D-d)] x TQM x NA. All of the letters and symbols apparently represent a sort of mathematical code to track the following:

W: How bad the weather is at this time of year.

D: Amount of debt accumulated over the holidays minus how much is paid off.

T: The time since the holidays.

Q: Amount of time passed since New Year’s resolutions have gone south.

M: Our general motivation levels.

NA: The need to take action.

Uncanny isn't it...?

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